Writing Around The Table Using Inner Balance

Diana Reyers, Founder of Daring to Share Global™

I chose to narrow this topic down to Inner Balance instead of the broader management of General Balance, which typically only includes parts of life - work, sleep, play, etc. My theory is that if I focus on my inner self, my outer self will respond accordingly, achieving whole balance - or as close to it as is humanly possible.

This changed everything as it became personal. Making it more meaningful meant reframing my perception of balance from a perfectionistic goal to an intention of recalibrating my awareness of how much I am leading and living in line with each of my values. Ultimately, I need to discover how much or little I am using my Inner Purpose Feeling of Connection as a guide. This provides clarity about which of my values are being compromised at any given time and the ability to discover why this might be - what is happening in my life that would create inner imbalance. And even more prevalent, what is occurring within me - my body, heart, and mind. Once clear, my goal is not necessarily to create perfect balance because that is unrealistic and unachievable, but to support any value that is compromising my ability to lead and live, and of course, write in line with my Inner Purpose Feeling.

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Writing these past two weeks was more laborious because it included sharing parts of my life and pieces of individuals who greatly impacted who I became and ultimately shifted from being. This was, and still is, a challenging task because I want to share how I arrived at this place of not just sharing my truth but committing to being my truth without throwing anyone under the bus. Ultimately, this comes down to a similar or different perception of the same story by each player within it.

I have so many beautiful memories of the experiences and people who shaped the genuine side of who I am today. However, I am acutely aware of the parts and people who influenced me more deceptively. Achieving Inner Balance has, and continues to be, a journey of being mindful of who I am as my best and worst self, so I can intentionally shift towards my best self most of the time. This takes compassion for those who influenced me throughout my life, knowing they were also doing and being the best they could at the time. I also need to provide myself with compassion and understanding that I am who I am today given the level of self-awareness I achieved along the way, as well as the role others had along my personal evolution.

Following is an excerpt from Around the Table: Daring to Share My Perception

Just as my mother had a deep connection with her matriarch, her lineage with the rest of her family was strong. They were bound by a devotion for one another that most wish they could achieve. However, it was countered by deep-seated resentment that often surfaced as damaging hostility. When any one sister was triggered, I envisioned God shaking His head in condemnation. The very image of Him looking down on their antics from His throne above often made me laugh. But in the end, witnessing them tearing each other’s souls apart moved me to heart-breaking tears as I reflected on the never-ending question, How did they get to this state of love-hate?

I experienced magical moments with Oma Knynenburg while living overseas. She exuded the calm demeanour of a monk, and her smile was highly contagious. I only ever saw her when we visited my aunts, uncles, and cousins, so I don’t know where she lived. She was never standing up, always sitting on an angle nestled in a comfy chair in the corner with her legs leaning to one side and her ankles crossed. Like my father’s mother, she was a larger woman. She had moved through a tough life thus far, and I am sure being thin was the least of her priorities.

Both of my grandmothers consistently wore dresses, stockings, and low-heeled tie-up dress shoes, which I found fascinating. I often thought about how uncomfortable they must be. One time at Oma Paternot’s house, I walked by something resembling a horse bridle standing upright in the back room. I wondered what the heck it was!! My mother explained that both of my grandmothers wore leather girdles to support their damaged backs after years of heavy lifting void of modern conveniences. I asked her what kind of work they did that would warrant such physical deterioration. She told me life was different back then because everything inside and outside the house had to be done by hand, including laundry without a washing machine or dryer. She asked me to imagine a home filled with 14 children. My grandmother was pregnant off and on for 20 years, giving birth to 11 girls and three boys; they lived in a small two-story row house with an attic in the village of Wassenaar. That attic was eventually used as the bedroom for the three youngest girls, including my mother. I heard that many secrets were created and shared there while they were growing up.

For links to the DTS MasterClass Program and my TreeLinks page,

go to www.daringtoshare.com/dianareyers