Excerpt from Daring to Share There to Here
Chapter 6 by Donna Fitzgerald ~ Calm
I began to unlock my abuse when I, simultaneously, began my journey of self-discovery. Being abused at such a young age, I locked the memories and emotions away to survive. I have yet to find clarity about why. I have retained the knowledge that the abuse happened, along with some memories, but I believe that I locked away the severity and frequency to protect the little girl within me. There is so much research and many theories about this, but I don’t think it matters anymore. What I do know is that being abused by my father had an immense impact on the person I was and the woman that I have become; more than anyone will ever know. He was someone who was supposed to guide and support me and act as the leader and head of my family. Not only was my childhood taken away from me, but my way of being as an adult evolved into a woman and mother whose role was greatly shaped by the victim of abuse I became. I now know the abuse as a child stifled my light, and I became a shy, insecure child who always wanted to please others. It changed who I am, and my mother added to this transformation by choosing not to protect me.
It is difficult to determine what is worse, the abuse that my father bestowed upon me or the protection I was deprived of by my mother. Working on understanding and accepting her role in me hiding my authentic and true self has been a work in progress to say the least. As a child, I initially and intuitively trusted that my mother would be there to nurture and defend me. I did not have the words or the emotional ability to express that this abuse was wrong. It was not until I was an adult and had made the decision to find myself that I was able to begin to interpret and understand her perspective. I was initially confused, and then deeply hurt as I started the process of unblocking and working through all aspects of working through this chaos. I did not understand why she would turn her back on me. This piece of the puzzle is the most difficult to solve because, as any victim of abuse will tell you, the why is much more difficult to gain clarity about than the actual act. At some point, I just stopped trying to understand these parts, and decided to love and protect myself; I knew I could count on me, and I had to be enough so that I could continue existing in this world.
...Amazed pleasantly as if I am observing snowflakes fall to the ground and yet defy the expectation of melting, I absorb the phenomenal courage by those who pour open the depths of their souls in these beautiful stories before you which you now have the opportunity to share.
I applaud them.
~ Diane Ladd, Actress | Director | Writer
International Award Winner, including
British Academy Award and
3X Oscar Nominee.
Inspiring stories shared by these 8 brave men and women reflect an intuitive calling to surrender to the truth within. Truth is a funny little word that has depths so deep we can’t see them at first glance so, we have to walk toward them, into them, to know them. It takes suffering, strength and courage to walk this road with eyes wide open...
you will find yourself, here.
~ Heather Haynes
Artist and Philanthropist | Owner of Heather Haynes Gallery | Creator of the Walls of Courage | Founder of
Worlds Collide Africa
...Growth can happen alone or through simple conversations with strangers; we all have a story to tell, and through that sharing we grow. Nobody better exemplifies this than Ms. Reyers and her ability to draw human souls together as one by the simple act of sharing and conversation.