Writing Around The Table Using My Inner Critic

Diana Reyers, Founder of Daring to Share Global™

So many believe that the Inner Critic is a deep, dark gremlin whose primary goal is to sabotage them at every turn. I learned to befriend mine and use her messages as motivation to be decisive within times of confusion. As a result, rather than create an ominous scenario of fight or flight, I can seek solace in finding clarity about something I am unsure of. I do not have to agree with the critic's message just because it presents itself. Instead, I can choose to slow down and provide space (Arc of Intense Energy) to ask myself if the critic's statement is true or not, in line with my values or not. Because I trust my values and how I feel when living in line with them, this gives me the opportunity to be decisive within my choice to agree or disagree with the inner critic's message. Sometimes, she is right, and sometimes, she is wrong. It is not her choice to make that decision; it is mine.

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This week, I wrote about my experience, moving to Holland with my family when I was 11 years old. My time there was extraordinary in so many ways, both empowering and disempowering. I was initially super excited to go to a different country and, in particular, to meet so many relatives on both my mother's and father's sides. We lived with my father's parents, my Oma and Opa, for seven months before suddenly returning to Canada. I often think of my authentic self as the voice of my Oma, a free-spirited soul filled with love and joy. If I listen to her, I am empowered. However, my inner critic messages mirror the voice of my Opa, a man tormented by the expectations of patriarchy and control. If I allow them to guide me, I am disempowered.

Each speaks to me at any given moment in time, depending on my level of self-awareness, and both provide the opportunity to step back and find clarity about which path is right for me. It is a choice.

Following is an excerpt from Around the Table: Daring to Share My Perception

"Standing in that bedroom doorway filled with anticipation of what was coming next, I also looked down the vacant hall and wondered what my Oma was up to. She nodded at me, affirming that all was clear, and handed me her cane. She told me to use it to hit the bell as hard as I could. What?! I began shaking because I knew how loud that bell would ring if I hit it with any force behind the solid maple cane. I also knew that it would alert my father, who was waiting for the gentleman to come to ring that same bell. Within moments, I quickly put all the pieces together, understanding how this prank on my father would play out. My fear was so intense, but my Oma’s excitement was way more contagious, and I knew there was no turning back – her plan was in place, and she was ready to make it happen. As much as I sensed great trepidation, the adrenaline that simultaneously surged through me motivated me to hold the cane up high, aim it at the bell, and whack it with all my might. Bam!!!

Oma was quick and right on queue because as soon as the bell rang, she grabbed me by the waist and swiftly swooped me into the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind me – I’m sure my feet left the ground, and the endorphin rush was as intense as a tsunami. By the time I landed beside her, she had recalibrated, and I stood there looking up at her with my body trembling uncontrollably. I almost shrieked out loud, but her eyes locked with mine, and she pulled me into her dirty apron to muffle any peeps that might slip out of me. She knew I needed some grounding from the rush of energy surging through my body.

A few moments later, I heard the sure and steady step of my father’s leather dress shoe soles padding the old wool carpet runner. I instantly became obsessed with the state of the runner again, thinking my Oma really should replace it. It was a brief distraction, quickly dismissed as I moved on to question whether my father's footsteps were headed toward the front door and his potential boss or the bedroom and our possible demise."

For links to the DTS MasterClass Program and my TreeLinks page, go to www.daringtoshare.com/dianareyers