Updated: Feb 28
by Diana Reyers
Daring to Share Deception to Truth
January 2020 Edition
Welcome to the Monthly Perceptions of Diana Reyers!!
Diana is the Founder of the Daring to Share Global™ Movement and Publishing House and a Human Advocate passionate about sharing her truth no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
As a creative introvert, she learned early on in life that the ability to belong without succumbing to external expectations of changing one's inner self was a rare gift often only provided to those courageous enough to show up as a reflection of their soul. She had a deep knowing that she didn't need to heal, she just needed to evolve as her best-self given where she had landed within her level of personal awareness. Diana knows that when a story is told, the spark of connection is ignited and the magic of human kindness inspires the truth we all yearn to show up as with confidence and ease.
Following is Diana's February 2020 Blog Post Edition of
Daring to Share Deception to Truth - Using Compassion to Release Judgment
I chose to post the above quote, but, sorry to disappoint that I want to make it very clear I am not advocating the message I experience when absorbing it, but rather using it as an example to share my perception of it and how it makes me feel. I do understand the possible intention behind it - to protect and advocate for oneself, to trust my feelings and live fully within them. This piece I agree with, however, for me and if I were to commit to my interpretation of it's expanded message, I would be using others as a scapegoat enabling me to move towards my fear of using my responsibility to use my feelings as decision-making guideposts.
When I began reading it the first time, I immediately wondered why anyone outside of self needed to be brought into the mindset of trusting one's feelings. The title alone brought me to the perception that the writer is actually judging others for invalidating or minimizing how one feels. Then further along the author insinuates that the reader should not accept judgment from others. Fair enough, and yet it feels somewhat hypocritical....
My thought is shouldn't the onus be on me alone to self-manage the triggers that come up when I perceive others are judging me; with the key reflection being - what is my role in this perception of judgment from others? And then, Is it not fair and just to provide them with the same respect that I am requesting - to provide compassion for those judgmental people who perhaps haven't reached a level of personal awareness or mindfulness to move through their day without using what I may perceive as acts of judgment.
Maybe, these judgy people simply don't have the confidence or haven't learned how to fully trust their feelings as their soulful guide to the level that I have and they use the emotional survival default using judgment to project the fear that their inner indecisiveness creates on to me.
Is it not also fair and ethical to provide others with the same trusting space I value to express how they feel about me even if I feel uncomfortable within it? This feels like the optimal and responsible opportunity to simply honour their current views and then express an alternate view of myself - not in a defensive manner, but as a means to bring awareness to them of 'who' I really am without my perception of their judgment attached. Can I place my ego aside and model a different way of responding to them in order to support them to 'be' more authentic and genuine in response to me?
I cannot deeply feel if I am not open to understanding how others feel.
I believe that judging others for judging me is a strategy of projection that is used to unconsciously and ineffectively move through triggers of self-judgment. I used them in the past when I wasn't fully conscious of my own critical mind about myself and my lack of utilizing how I intuitively felt to guide how I wanted to show up in the world. And currently, when I am not at my best and somewhat unaware, I default to this patterned way of being; I am human and not oblivious to in-authentic u-turns.
Being responsible for my role in the choices I make and how I respond to others within being genuine and kind is the ethical thing for me to do and has nothing to do with anyone else's way of being or what I perceive they think of me. I believe that I can commit to this without feeling judged while, simultaneously, not placing judgment on them when I am triggered by my own Inner Critic and self-judgment. If I move towards critical defense, I am exuding the hypocrisy of human exclusion I abhor through the judgment I am fearful of. Alternatively, I can move towards compassion and collaborative conversation while supporting others' towards human advocacy that inspires inclusivity.